All I wanna do is find a way back into love...
its just a simple post to mark this Valentine's day... home alone, no gf, no dates... no nothing.. not bitter... not sore.. not envious... or am i?
past few days of being in hermit made me thought things through about what has been happening in my life, what i have achieved. Suddenly i realised that what i had achieved is a far cry of my own ambitions, but its something that i think i am going to work towards for. my own business and properties overseas... that i will never give up. But emotions-wise has been a huge void so far, i dunno if its me or have i lost faith in love, that i dun believe in love anymore. after what happened few years ago, i have never been able to bring myself to really love someone and care for someone to the same extent ever again. Maybe there is just a protective sheath that i am hiding myself behind, afraid to love, afraid to get hurt again...
some events over the past week made me realise that i treasure my friends a lot, misunderstandings between friends, protecting friends from harm, not being given a chance to explain and not knowing the roots of the problems... which i guess makes human interaction more difficult that it really seemed to be.
i came across this from my friend's blog, a post by her though not depicting my life, but i see similarities in it...
"i finally understand. as we grow older, as we reach different stages of our lives, we become wiser, and we see things differently. in the past, i was willful and stubborn. i always wanted things my way. i thought that as long as i am not doing something 'wrong', i should be allowed to do it, despite how it would make other people feel. but now i realised that things don't always work this way. i realised that sometimes persistence can lead to someone else's unhappiness and discomfort. and if that someone is precious and important enough to you, you would not risk anything in the world to jeopardise the relationship. because losing this precious thing, is far more scarier than losing your pride...
you would handle it with care, like you're treading on a piece of very thin ice, afraid that a wrong step would crack this piece of ice and cause you to lose it all irrevocably."
a simple post which touches me greatly, cos it made me reflect upon myself...
i am wondering why a certain someone doesnt reply me ever since she came back from HK, is she busy? is she avoiding me? have i done her any wrong? i just wanna know the reason... No, i dont love her as yet, but at least she is the first one whom i can say that i like and i care for after so long, not expecting anything from her but just a chance to get to know her better as a friend. and secretly, i have been waiting for a response from her, through my many smses and messages in msn.
why is it so hard for me? am i destined to miss my love this life?
just watched Shakespeare in love today, sometimes shows like this made me feel like living in olden times, maybe i was from there previous life...
all i wanna do is to find a way back into love...
past few days of being in hermit made me thought things through about what has been happening in my life, what i have achieved. Suddenly i realised that what i had achieved is a far cry of my own ambitions, but its something that i think i am going to work towards for. my own business and properties overseas... that i will never give up. But emotions-wise has been a huge void so far, i dunno if its me or have i lost faith in love, that i dun believe in love anymore. after what happened few years ago, i have never been able to bring myself to really love someone and care for someone to the same extent ever again. Maybe there is just a protective sheath that i am hiding myself behind, afraid to love, afraid to get hurt again...
some events over the past week made me realise that i treasure my friends a lot, misunderstandings between friends, protecting friends from harm, not being given a chance to explain and not knowing the roots of the problems... which i guess makes human interaction more difficult that it really seemed to be.
i came across this from my friend's blog, a post by her though not depicting my life, but i see similarities in it...
"i finally understand. as we grow older, as we reach different stages of our lives, we become wiser, and we see things differently. in the past, i was willful and stubborn. i always wanted things my way. i thought that as long as i am not doing something 'wrong', i should be allowed to do it, despite how it would make other people feel. but now i realised that things don't always work this way. i realised that sometimes persistence can lead to someone else's unhappiness and discomfort. and if that someone is precious and important enough to you, you would not risk anything in the world to jeopardise the relationship. because losing this precious thing, is far more scarier than losing your pride...
you would handle it with care, like you're treading on a piece of very thin ice, afraid that a wrong step would crack this piece of ice and cause you to lose it all irrevocably."
a simple post which touches me greatly, cos it made me reflect upon myself...
i am wondering why a certain someone doesnt reply me ever since she came back from HK, is she busy? is she avoiding me? have i done her any wrong? i just wanna know the reason... No, i dont love her as yet, but at least she is the first one whom i can say that i like and i care for after so long, not expecting anything from her but just a chance to get to know her better as a friend. and secretly, i have been waiting for a response from her, through my many smses and messages in msn.
why is it so hard for me? am i destined to miss my love this life?
just watched Shakespeare in love today, sometimes shows like this made me feel like living in olden times, maybe i was from there previous life...
all i wanna do is to find a way back into love...
posted by EniGmAtiC NoStaLgiA at 2/14/2008 09:28:00 PM
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