A Walk into the Past...
Things unfolded before my eyes these few days...
Happenings which brought me back into my younger days, the death of "Ah ma", the mother of my old neighbour back in my old house. They watched me grow up, accompany me throughout my younger years, right from being a baby... to a toddler learning to walk... to my kindergarten and primary school days and even right through secondary school and my first year of JC until we moved out 8 years ago to Khatib area. They were there for me, defining who I am... through fun and strictness at the same time.
Ah Leng, Ah Gor, Ah Kiao, Ah Mong, Tian Cai, Tian De, Tian Ding and Tian Bao who passed away when i was very young still... of course auntie and Ah Pek who were very much like my grandparents. Ah Pek has already passed away, i still remember how he used to sit at this favourite high stool and talk to me across the corridor. How he would roll his handmade cigarette and i would help him with it. His favourite "Po Ee" which would always be on the table whenever he drinks. How auntie would always bake cake and kuehs for us and "Ah Ma" would visit sometimes cos she stays in the kampong back then. Everyday I would hang out at their house playing with the fishes or playing with the rest of them. One by one they got married and have children... I was even friends with their children, Meiping, Junqi, ah xiang and many others, whom i had gradually become unable to recognise ever since i moved away during their formative years... Ah ma's death brought me back to my old house, i am surprised to see so much changes to the environment that i used to grow up in... its barely recognisable now... Its been 8 years since I stepped back there... how come so long? I searched myself and couldn't find the answer, somewhere deep in me, i miss them, they doted on me so much but how come i didn't go back to them during this period of time. It was simply unforgivable on my part.
At the wake, i was solemn... sad and grieved to a certain extent, "Ah ma" lived till 108 years old, was indeed ripe old age, a lot of memories came back during the time when i was at the wake... seeing how each of them has aged over the years... how auntie become so weak and aged so much when i last saw her. How i hated myself for not going back to visit them on my own accord and not being to attend the barbeque Tian Ding organised cos i was overseas... On the other hand, I am happy to see their kids all grown up and very sensible...
Deep in my heart, i know i am bleeding... sad... reproachfully.. regretting not visiting them more often... I shall make time for visits from now onwards... not only to them but to my own grandparents as well...
I remember someone said something which i overheard.... "Time has come that life has stopped giving us things and start taking them away..."
Its a very simple sentence, yet so wise and melancholic..
Happenings which brought me back into my younger days, the death of "Ah ma", the mother of my old neighbour back in my old house. They watched me grow up, accompany me throughout my younger years, right from being a baby... to a toddler learning to walk... to my kindergarten and primary school days and even right through secondary school and my first year of JC until we moved out 8 years ago to Khatib area. They were there for me, defining who I am... through fun and strictness at the same time.
Ah Leng, Ah Gor, Ah Kiao, Ah Mong, Tian Cai, Tian De, Tian Ding and Tian Bao who passed away when i was very young still... of course auntie and Ah Pek who were very much like my grandparents. Ah Pek has already passed away, i still remember how he used to sit at this favourite high stool and talk to me across the corridor. How he would roll his handmade cigarette and i would help him with it. His favourite "Po Ee" which would always be on the table whenever he drinks. How auntie would always bake cake and kuehs for us and "Ah Ma" would visit sometimes cos she stays in the kampong back then. Everyday I would hang out at their house playing with the fishes or playing with the rest of them. One by one they got married and have children... I was even friends with their children, Meiping, Junqi, ah xiang and many others, whom i had gradually become unable to recognise ever since i moved away during their formative years... Ah ma's death brought me back to my old house, i am surprised to see so much changes to the environment that i used to grow up in... its barely recognisable now... Its been 8 years since I stepped back there... how come so long? I searched myself and couldn't find the answer, somewhere deep in me, i miss them, they doted on me so much but how come i didn't go back to them during this period of time. It was simply unforgivable on my part.
At the wake, i was solemn... sad and grieved to a certain extent, "Ah ma" lived till 108 years old, was indeed ripe old age, a lot of memories came back during the time when i was at the wake... seeing how each of them has aged over the years... how auntie become so weak and aged so much when i last saw her. How i hated myself for not going back to visit them on my own accord and not being to attend the barbeque Tian Ding organised cos i was overseas... On the other hand, I am happy to see their kids all grown up and very sensible...
Deep in my heart, i know i am bleeding... sad... reproachfully.. regretting not visiting them more often... I shall make time for visits from now onwards... not only to them but to my own grandparents as well...
I remember someone said something which i overheard.... "Time has come that life has stopped giving us things and start taking them away..."
Its a very simple sentence, yet so wise and melancholic..
posted by EniGmAtiC NoStaLgiA at 6/24/2008 06:26:00 PM
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