deeper and wiser...
Monday blues...
woke up this morning feeling all pissed... i missed the finals... damn it, i was waiting till 115am till i decided to take a half hour nap, when i woke up... i was wondering how come my half hour nap is so damn long. the clock reads 7am... freak... missed the game and had to drag myself out of bed to go to work. things dont look good too when i was dazing and almost forgot to get off the train at Bishan to wait for Dorothy and i had to spoil my pass... damn it... Peggy surprised everyone when she bought everyone in the banking hall lunch... hehehz... without telling us the reason. most pple think she won 4D anyway... haha... some others think she won money betting world cup... haha... anyway world cup has reached a fanatic stage, such popularity that i find equal number of woman watching and betting as the guys... and schools give students a holiday today so they can watch soccer? such luxury never enjoyed before... everyone looked dazed and panda like today anyway, no prizes for guessing why... the pantry was highly utilised with the coffee machines being overworked... haha...
was looking forward to dinner with Zexian aka my Dai Kor today... he has been wanting to bring his wife to meet me. but she left for home earlier cos she wasnt feeling too well, she is pregnant anyway... i always liked talking to him... he always intrigues me and makes me think, plan for my own future... through giving scenarios from his experiences and encounters and always ready to listen to me... thats why he is always like a mentor to me... someone whom i always enjoy spending time with and talking to... this time it was regarding my thailand trip, slowly moving towards my r/s... he is always ready to offer his views and advice, in a way which i can accept and yet doesnt feel like he is telling me what to do... but rather he makes me think of what is best for myself... he asked me the details of the things that happened so far, which i wouldnt hold back from telling him cos i trust him and i know that he will be able to give another perspective which i might not have considered before. he asked me what i am looking for in a marriage, what kind of wife i am looking for... in that someone whom i am going to walk the rest of my life with. what i was able to give him was some very general answers which i know was always never gonna be good enough, not for him but for myself too... what i am looking for in a gf now and why i like this person now... it made me broaden up and sit up a little and realised how shallow people are nowadays, myself included. not that i am giving up cos of what he said, but it gives me something to think about before taking my next step... no doubt no doubt i still like her, but things are complicated as yet. Then, he told me one thing which surprised me, cos he never said that to me before. He told me, "Jingpei, you must have more confidence in yourself. you are a good looking lad with a smart head and highly sensitive to people couple that with good emotions, you are so going to be well-liked by the girls around you." i was astounded... struck and speechless, i think that is a very nice compliment by him but knowing him, he really meant it and din say it for the sake of making anyone feel better, i knew he was right... at least about the confidence part. maybe its time to start believing in who i am and has always been. we shared about our family and how personal goals and marriage intertwined... and what expectations that we should have. though i feel that i am like going through one of his classes, but yet i know that what he said carries a lot of sense. it set me thinking, my mind racing about what has happened in my life so far... what can i say that i am proud of to God. At the end of the conversation, i find myself clearer of my own direction in life and where i am heading and what i am going to do. maybe God is working his way through him, but i wudnt mind. thats why i say its always been amazing and enlightening to talk to him, makes me feel wiser and gain a lot more other perspectives. combining today with the first session with the goals i want in life and how i am going to achieve it and today's marriage and how to complement it with goals, i feel the path in front of me is so much clearer... Then he ended off with something which is very true and most people would know but never realise or come to grasp with. "The past is never equal to the future although it constitutes to what we are today, but if we stop right now, we ceased to exist, our future ceased to exist..."
today's session together with yesterday's by Archduke, made me wisen up a lot more. besides the will to succeed now and the fire in my eyes, i can feel the confidence that one ought to have. i feel different, much more focused and driven. maybe its just a pigment of my imagination but i am sure its a change for the better...
hey dai kor... i owe you a treat for today's...
woke up this morning feeling all pissed... i missed the finals... damn it, i was waiting till 115am till i decided to take a half hour nap, when i woke up... i was wondering how come my half hour nap is so damn long. the clock reads 7am... freak... missed the game and had to drag myself out of bed to go to work. things dont look good too when i was dazing and almost forgot to get off the train at Bishan to wait for Dorothy and i had to spoil my pass... damn it... Peggy surprised everyone when she bought everyone in the banking hall lunch... hehehz... without telling us the reason. most pple think she won 4D anyway... haha... some others think she won money betting world cup... haha... anyway world cup has reached a fanatic stage, such popularity that i find equal number of woman watching and betting as the guys... and schools give students a holiday today so they can watch soccer? such luxury never enjoyed before... everyone looked dazed and panda like today anyway, no prizes for guessing why... the pantry was highly utilised with the coffee machines being overworked... haha...
was looking forward to dinner with Zexian aka my Dai Kor today... he has been wanting to bring his wife to meet me. but she left for home earlier cos she wasnt feeling too well, she is pregnant anyway... i always liked talking to him... he always intrigues me and makes me think, plan for my own future... through giving scenarios from his experiences and encounters and always ready to listen to me... thats why he is always like a mentor to me... someone whom i always enjoy spending time with and talking to... this time it was regarding my thailand trip, slowly moving towards my r/s... he is always ready to offer his views and advice, in a way which i can accept and yet doesnt feel like he is telling me what to do... but rather he makes me think of what is best for myself... he asked me the details of the things that happened so far, which i wouldnt hold back from telling him cos i trust him and i know that he will be able to give another perspective which i might not have considered before. he asked me what i am looking for in a marriage, what kind of wife i am looking for... in that someone whom i am going to walk the rest of my life with. what i was able to give him was some very general answers which i know was always never gonna be good enough, not for him but for myself too... what i am looking for in a gf now and why i like this person now... it made me broaden up and sit up a little and realised how shallow people are nowadays, myself included. not that i am giving up cos of what he said, but it gives me something to think about before taking my next step... no doubt no doubt i still like her, but things are complicated as yet. Then, he told me one thing which surprised me, cos he never said that to me before. He told me, "Jingpei, you must have more confidence in yourself. you are a good looking lad with a smart head and highly sensitive to people couple that with good emotions, you are so going to be well-liked by the girls around you." i was astounded... struck and speechless, i think that is a very nice compliment by him but knowing him, he really meant it and din say it for the sake of making anyone feel better, i knew he was right... at least about the confidence part. maybe its time to start believing in who i am and has always been. we shared about our family and how personal goals and marriage intertwined... and what expectations that we should have. though i feel that i am like going through one of his classes, but yet i know that what he said carries a lot of sense. it set me thinking, my mind racing about what has happened in my life so far... what can i say that i am proud of to God. At the end of the conversation, i find myself clearer of my own direction in life and where i am heading and what i am going to do. maybe God is working his way through him, but i wudnt mind. thats why i say its always been amazing and enlightening to talk to him, makes me feel wiser and gain a lot more other perspectives. combining today with the first session with the goals i want in life and how i am going to achieve it and today's marriage and how to complement it with goals, i feel the path in front of me is so much clearer... Then he ended off with something which is very true and most people would know but never realise or come to grasp with. "The past is never equal to the future although it constitutes to what we are today, but if we stop right now, we ceased to exist, our future ceased to exist..."
today's session together with yesterday's by Archduke, made me wisen up a lot more. besides the will to succeed now and the fire in my eyes, i can feel the confidence that one ought to have. i feel different, much more focused and driven. maybe its just a pigment of my imagination but i am sure its a change for the better...
hey dai kor... i owe you a treat for today's...
posted by EniGmAtiC NoStaLgiA at 7/10/2006 10:50:00 PM
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